Worship, Create, Dream

Be free to Worship God. Create with abandonement because He is the Creator. Let's discover our Dreams together.

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What is the Affect it has on Your life?

Day Fifteen

Have you ever seen the movie Mom’s Night Out ? The lead female character has a desire to create through blogging. In fact she may even tell you she feels “called”. And the chaos of her family is calling her to do everything but create.

It is a cute, hectic story where the woman finally sits down and is mentored by the most unlikely person. He tells her to breathe and be herself.  I will let you take in the story to see what affect this interaction had on her life.

Enjoy the gifts He has given to you!

“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, Your High God, above politics, and everything.”

Psaalms 46:10 MSG

During the chaos when I question whether I have anything of worth to share or even if I am DOING the right thing, I am gently surrounded by the gentle words of my Loving Papa.  

 – Yes, share what I have given to you. No more and No less.

11 You did it: You turned my deepest pains into joyful dancing;
    You stripped off my dark clothing
    and covered me with joyful light.
12 You have restored my honor. My heart is ready to explode, erupt in new songs!
    It’s impossible to keep quiet!
    Eternal One, my God, my Life-Giver, I will thank You forever

Psalm 30:11-12 Voice

After reading the triumphant victory in this verse, what holds any of us back from going full speed ahead in BEING the MASTERPIECE God created? Well, as I look back at the movie, a couple things jump out at me where daily routine sadly speaks louder than scripture.

Do you identify with any of these?

Perceived chaos in the home can make huge demands on one’s mind where that is what you see more than God’s delight in you. (You even find yourself looking for dark covering so no one could find you. Will this bring you peace? )

 Does a full time job with its cares make you weary? Life has dulled down to coming home, “PLOPing” in the chair, zoning out after supper with the TV til you head for bed? There is no energy or Joyful light to even consider creating.    

 Is there a creative idea churning inside, but you are hesitant to express it because of past labels you have received? i.e—

 You aren’t as good as…  You can’t make money at that… Just stay doing what you are doing, it is safe… This isn’t a real job, spend your time on something that will do some good,  Or there is the fear that if you open your heart to this, people will get the idea you are only trying to draw attention to yourself. ☹

Go to God for His words of encouragement.

Whose response do you rely on to be your creative light?

The Eternal is full of grace and naturally just;
    our God is compassionate and merciful.
And the Eternal watches over the naive.
    Whenever I was knocked down, He reached down and saved me.
O my soul! Return and relax. Come to your true rest,
    for the Eternal has showered you with His favor.

Psalm 116 Voice

Listen to the deep, words God has shared with you in the quiet alone times. When God created you in your mother’s womb, He put together the sweet artistic sense of connecting you with Him in a unique way as He did no other. Not even if you were a twin would you connect with your Heavenly Father as your identical sibling would.

Each flower has it’s own beautiful story. Delight in the beauty each flows gently in the gift God has given it to share.

Jesus shared His Story with unqualified people as far as the world was concerned. Un-educated, laborers, the outcasts, even WOMEN.  Jesus asked them to BE and share the LOVE they received. Their worldly tool kits were small. They said “YES”.

Take in the “story” to see what affect their trust in God and saying yes had on their lives.

You and I are each unqualified vessels. God has given you and me a unique voice. Are you willing to slow down, breathe, relax and receive?  What is the story God  is daily sharing WITH YOU? Are you willing to trust Him and say “YES” with your small tool kit?

I will let you take this in to your story.  What affect does it have on your life?


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Day Fourteen


Thank God! He deserves your thanks. His love never quits. Thank the God of all gods, His love never quits. Thank the Lord of all lords. His love never quits.

Psalm 136 :1-3 MSG

Take a second, (or two, depending on where you are sitting and reading this post) Look into the mirror. Who and what do you see?

Today who is the person absorbing the TRUTH of today’s verse?

 No shame involved, just honesty. The best honest deepest most beautiful art, the best reflection of peace where we can breathe will only come as we allow ourselves to be truly honest on a day to day level in our relationship with God.

Spending time with God is not only an experience set aside for a weekend service or prayer before meals. Those are the set up “easy times”. No thought required. The rest of the week takes a bit more work.

Is God part of your Artsy, creative time? On the weekdays when you are living life, do you ask God, “Do You REALLY WANT to spend time with me?” You might remember some pretty icky stuff that started happening on Monday morning. Why would God want to step into that mud?

Here is a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde mirror experience for me.

I started college, the fall right after I accepted Jesus into my heart. I was so excited. This young girl was going to live a life very radical with joy and devotion to Jesus. Because my love for Jesus was huge, I figured everyone else had the same mind set. (Christian College) I hit a brick wall. Not everyone was a nice person. I made dumb choices. Have you been in those situations where you go to bed promising the next day was going to be better? — Vows under your breath so no one hears you. NO MORE DUMB CHOICES. ☹

My heart wanted to go one way and my actions took me another. It is so great that sweet Jesus knows how hard it is trying to keep on the straight and narrow path. On the night He was going to be arrested, Jesus wanted to give His followers some “holy encouragement” to remember because He was aware what was coming. It wasn’t because Jesus felt His friends were all wimps at heart and could not be trusted. In fact, it was because He knew how much they truly cared for Him and the next few days would be tough He shared these words.

There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.

Matt. 26:41

This may seem harsh, but I can identify with this statement.

I did not like the face in the mirror.

I was not liking the face in the mirror. God’s love did not quit on me though. Finally I quit being lazy inside. The pain in my heart was so huge and I felt so empty. God gently took my hand,”OK- Now you are finally ready to listen and receive.”

Let’s turn to Dr Jekyll’s side. I have graduated. I have moved. I am married. I belong to a really good church. I put on a “everything is great ☺”. The woman looking in the mirror has a different story to tell. She is not going to be the “Ms. Hyde” though. She is REALLY GOOD. Don’t cause problems. That person is accepted. Be the listening ear.

I felt my life was meeting everyone else’s need but did anyone actually know me? Service is good Christian love, but my heart was sometimes very sad. I kept silent for a long time. I would not even dare to look inside or acknowledge there was a seed of a dream in me

I did not like the face in the mirror. Who was she?

Please don’t get the idea my life was horribly dark all the time. I grew to love worship in a deep way through the Holy Spirit. I grew to recognize the reality of an intense relationship between ” My Heavenly Papa” and me. This was also when God’s wonderful love showed me the Dr. Jekyll life was a false label I was not called to live under either.

The similarity between Dr Jekyll and Ms.Hyde, was that my worth came from doing. Was I true to myself or only responding to the needs of others? I felt accepted, I felt important. I would not dare to even think about the “no” word. Insecurity choked me.

How did things change with both Ms. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll?


In being honest, God started clearing out my false self and false securities. In the empty space, there was room for the freedom to discover the gifts He always had in store for me.

A winding path, initially uncharted and frightening, is laid out before me.

There are little imps still trying to destroy this journey of creative expression and worship but that is a battle for another post. In this victory, THE CREATOR states I am not alone:

Spending time with THE CREATOR, is freeing me from the shoulds, with no shame attached.

Friends, does this mean I can do anything I want and never do something for another person? NO! That would not be loving and living like Jesus. What it does mean is my heart is free to serve out of the flow I receive from Jesus. It is a freer list handwritten by Jesus. Emily P. Freeman would call it living out my ‘ poema’ https://emilypfreeman.com/a-million-little-ways/

Writing and Photography: This is a dream Dr. Jekyll would have never dared to allow her heart to look into. And yet as the false labels left, space opened up to see places God wanted to take me.

Is the creative path you are on similar to mine? God brings our art, our worship through the the past we have experienced. Our past is not a hindrance. It is the road from which we RECEIVE, REFLECT AND then RESPOND.

The freedom is found in spending time in Him first and then flowing out in your creativity.

God’s Love Never Quits. God does not call you to DO.  He asks you to BE. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––


Through a transformation program called Faithwalking and recognizing I am a Type 4 in the Enneagram. 1 I am SLOWLY discovering how to show up as the person God Created and am being freed through Jesus.

1 To read more about the Enneagram you can go to THE ROAD BACK TO YOU by Ian Cron https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28268515-the-road-back-to-you



Day Eight

You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.

Ps. 23:2 MSG

    Make space for your soul.

Relax in
simple beauty.


Fresh water to refresh me.


  As you read the verse, are you at a place in your life where these words really make absolutely no sense? For example: chronic pain surrounds your every waking moment, or maybe dear friends, possibly close relatives have prayed for healing concerning physical attacks on their bodies with no release in sight, or maybe a strange ailment takes you from doctor to doctor and they cannot give you a direction. Urgent questions with no answers.

Yes there is turmoil.
Yes there is beauty.

  Do you feel as though you have been quite diligent with your daily scripture intake, with ALL OF ITS MANY WORDS, but lately, that is what they have become- MERE WORDS. ☹   It is so ok to be honest. God loves you. God deals better with honesty than with fake obedience.

With the turbulence of the world, lies from the enemy and the void offered from empty sources, your soul is tired. The protective measures you put up as a way to handle life may be the very barrier keeping God’s intimate gentle breath at bay. God’s deep love will sooth your soul.

Gentle, beauty reaching out past the ugliness.

You cannot escape a few thorns while enjoying the beauty of a rose. Pain comes with beauty. God does not demand you to experience the pain on you own. The CREATOR of the universe has never abandoned you, even in times when you feel abandoned. His Hand is always reaching out.

In these present uncertainties, dare to picture His arms holding you in a peaceful meadow next to a cool stream.

A David Psalm

23 1-3 God, my shepherd!

    I don’t need a thing.

You have bedded me down in lush meadows,

    you find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to your word,

    you let me catch my breath

    and send me in the right direction.

Portions of A David Psalm

  How do you feel?

Paint, draw, or write a story or poem, responding to the chaos in your present soul. As creatives, this is the gift we can use to connect with the pain in our heart. Try to make physical, the invisible pain. Use it as a sacrifice of praise. Be Bold! Be Daring!

Offer this gift to God. Ask God to bring you to an honest quiet place.

  Turn off the outside noise. Listen to the One who really loves you!

RECEIVE God’s Words for you today, REFLECT upon God’s Heart for you, RESPOND to what God is sharing with you.

Be still! Receive!

If there is space today, create what you received in response to your honest quiet time with God. Share here or on my Facebook page if you wish. We are all on this journey together.









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Why Don’t I Feel Better?

I am going to bring you into one of my thought processes. The day it self way quite delightful. The weather was great (for Duluth).



Gentle Breeze.

This made my walk an enjoyable part of my spiritual discipline as I prayed. After I returned home, I prepared a cup of coffee, got my book, journal and went to the deck. I was going to continue seeking God’s heart for mine. Sounds as though it is a time to soothe one’s soul.

Enjoying a nice cup of coffee in the morning.

Please don’t get the idea I am a “super Christian” with a great spiritual discipline all packed down and this post will give you hints as to how to begin your day all neat and tidy before you head off to your creativity. I want to bring you into more of who I am so you will understand my writing. (also don’t wait for the super Christian part. That is not happening. 🙂 )

Today, I am telling you the BEST PLANS do not always make the emotional facts. I am a TYPE Four on the Enneagram. I did not understand why my internals were not lining up with the externals. I did not feel as though everything was working together for good for me. ( even though I do love the Lord. Roman 8:28)

I was still contemplating the information I gathered from the Does God Really Love Me? series we just finished from Easter Sunday. ( I am His Adopted Child, I am Truly Loved, I am His Masterpiece, God actually enjoys Loving Me and spending time with me). I was searching His path and seeking His heart for me. What is next Papa? Looking to not from.

What is the around the bend?

You would think this wonder and depth and anticipation would bring an exciting way for me to greet the rest of that day. WRONG!!!

This is more of how I felt inside. There may be a path, but all I could see was blurry broken woods.

Even though all of these externals lined into what could have blossomed into a great day, I did not FEEL great.


Was I bad? Did I miss something? Was my walk with Jesus on a downward spiral after such a fantastic experience?

I can have strong emotional pulls. Life may seem very good when things are going in a nice direction. Not so hot when heading the other way. Even if nothing is really going wrong I may have emotions questioning my worth, creativity, am I even loved?. It is good to be aware when those turmoils start churning inside of me. My best response is not to deny them or shame myself in them. Rather, recognize they are there and go to God with them. The wonderful, accepting love of the Father will not judge, condemn or criticize those feelings. As I was honest with Him, I could receive His gentle love. My ears were open to hearing His words to me “I Understand”.

Creatives, spend time with God each day to get His perspective concerning you. The deeper you know Him, your eyes will know creativity in a deeper way. He knows you. He made you. God knows the best way to speak His heart through the art He has given you.


It was after I spent time being honest with God, in my feelings, my emptiness, my searching, with no expectations that I needed to respond in a certain way to receive His approval, I was able to go back to the bible verse and take in the whole blessing for me.

Sit, RECEIVE, REFLECT AND RESPOND (however your creative genre takes you) to this gift.

Romans 8:28
We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan.

Taken from THE VOICE

God is protecting me and always walking with me? How do you feel?









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It is the day/or week after EASTER. NOW WHAT?

This is what it looked like on Monday morning after Easter Sunday. Not filled with beauty
and wonder. How did you greet your day?


I know it would be so nice to see flowers starting in their bloom, crocus in a gorgeous purple, and the sun streaking in the sky with fantastic colors.

Jesus is Risen! Hallelujah!

All of that is absolutely true. What happens, when the next day after Easter starts out icky? What happens when life seems to go back to the “same old same old” in the following days, the following weeks? The challenge of fasting is no longer drawing you into a gentle secret hiding place. Abstaining from those regular Netflix programs are no longer required and therefore finding that holy ground for prayer is now more elusive. There is not a regular meditation to feast upon for your daily bread.

MY good friend Tammy Morton brought up a question. We were discussing the final material from the Does God Really Love Me? series. In a few days we would experience Good Friday and then Celebrate Easter. We just spent the last 40 to 50 days fasting or abstaining from something, to connect with God. What were we going to do after Easter? Her question was:

What if instead of fasting from something, we fast to ‘in taking on a new behavior’?

Allow Jesus to open this brand new path in you. Jesus spent forty days visiting with the apostles and others after the Resurrection for a purpose. He wanted to go deeper, show them even more of who He was. Jesus used that time to speak truth to the ones open to see and hear. There were no boundaries to block Him. Jesus was no longer in the tomb. He was Alive.


We are a few days (or more) past Easter Sunday. We experienced the pain of His death and rejoiced in the reality of His Resurrection. Where is Jesus with you today? How is the fact that He is the Risen Savior affecting your creativity? Your life? What does it mean to no longer be bound by the lies of the enemy?

God keeps His promises.

What is the New Behavior God is drawing you to? As you go deeper in Him and draw closer to Him how will that bring out the person you are created to be? Discover that identity!

Is that what is next for you?










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God’s Word Vaults

¹That’s how God’s Word vaults across the skies from sunrise to sunset,Melting ice, scorching deserts,warming hearts to faith. – Psalm 19:6 MSG




During this present Lenten season, our church is going through a workbook series as a whole – DOES GOD REALLY LOVE YOU?¹ It is a very intense  walk giving us an opportunity to bring the Word of God into the reality  of  who we are. Can we embrace our true identity?  God is reaching out for intimacy with His children.

Can you answer this question in quiet peace? “Does God Even Like Me?”

When we read the scriptures, and we are quite mandatory about it, the accomplishment can become more of a “to do” activity.  Cross it off your list and get to the next activity for the day.  If you  read in that fashion, it is very difficult to answer the question “Does God Really Love Me”? because the only things brought away from the text are 1. what to do or 2. what not to do.

 Do you remember a time you even read the bible to gain an intimate connection to His love being offered? Was there a sweet aroma, a gentle touch of His acceptance.?

This is a two part fictional adaptation of the WOMAN CAUGHT IN ADULTERY (John 8 1-11) Read slowly. What character attracts you the most? The woman? An observer? An accuser?

The night  was calm and  sweet. Peacefully lying in the strong arms of a man who showed her tenderness, she felt safe. This man seemed — different.   Not like others before with their ugly breath, horrid eyes and single desire.

She longed to be delivered from the gross life previously surrounding her nights. Days no longer existed. Sunlight brought no joy. Shame labelled all  her clothing.

This man came to her secretly, but gently. The past few nights brought a delightful-sens.  Could he actually feel something for her? Did she have more purpose than that of a woman’s body?

                                       Restful sleep came upon her.


 Without warning, temple guards crashed into the house. Sun’s rays peeled through the window. Fear consumed her body although she felt he would be near for protection.   She reached over to feel the mat’s other side.

It was empty!

With anxious questions, she thought,   “ Why are the sheets disheveled and the bed  still warm? He was just here.  Where was he?”

Looking around,  no one was in sight to stand between her and these angry, hateful men.

Instinctively she grabbed the bedclothes as she was yanked from the room. In pain and disillusionment, tears running down her cheeks, she faced the self-righteous crowd in the courtyard.

The  hideous mockery swirled in rude contrast to the peaceful quiet night she just experienced. Inside she hoped her lover would still come to her rescue. Glaring rays from the sun. Noise. Confusion.

“Surely he won’t allow the legal punishment to be carried out against me.”

Clutching the sheets  to cover her shame, she was dropped  before the temple leaders. In the mental, emotional, turmoil, she could make out the out the forms of two men.  Her life would be changed forever by the  actions of each.

One of the two men standing in the crowd she recognized from last night.   Will he speak up in her defense? Will he express concern? Will he show the tender care his words and actions gave in the evenings before.? Their eyes met. He quickly turned away.

The chaotic noise  from the crowd slowly faded away.  More agony gripped her as she realized the man who turned his gaze was the son of the Pharisee Leader. Standing next to her loudest accuser was the one she had given her very soul the nights before.

“Please God,  “ she cried silently to heaven, ” if You exist, may the first rock finish me.  The pain in my heart has killed me already. “

“What is taking so long?  Waiting for the discussion is far  worse than the sentence itself.”


4“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.Now what do you say?”

                                                                                                    John 8:4 NIV

Who was  this other man?  His eyes were kind. His face was gentle. There was truth all around Him.  He stood and looked at her so differently than any other  man.

“This Teacher can’t come closer to me. He knows what I am. He will become unclean.   Who is He?”

Bending over very quietly, He scribbled in the sand.

The Pharisees continued their pestering questions.  On and On!!  Finally the Man stopped His scribbling. Without anger or malice, He stood up and proposed a simple statement:

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her”

                                                                                                     John 8:7 NIV

He returned to the ground and his scribbling.

The seconds felt like hours as she shook beneath her cloth protection, waiting for the first rock. The only sounds were the swish of His finger on the sand and the heavy breathing of men.


Rocks were slowly falling around her. Feet shuffled  away.

Angrily looking around, the Chief Pharisee  watched  the rest of the accusers shake their heads and drop rocks.  Grabbing his robe to keep his cleanliness intact,  the loudest accuser turned to leave the scene. With an angry grunt, and eyes blazing, he demanded his son to follow.

The young man responded. As his eyes met hers, there was no love, no concern, no care. Just a look. Hearing another urgent word  from his father, the son walked.

Left alone, she couldn’t comprehend what took  place?

End  of part one!


Do you walk through life in fear and loneliness with the conclusion EVERYONE is out to get you?  This woman’s life was in constant fear. Her life was crippled by the choices she made. Looked for love in all the wrong places. Even when thinking she found it, it was not “well formed love




There is no room 2


God’s love does not work in that fashion.

That’s how God’s Word vaults across the skies from sunrise to sunset, Melting ice, scorching deserts,warming hearts to faith. – Psalm 19:6












1 Reference is to book used by Duluth Vineyard Church https://www.facebook.com/theduluthvineyardchurch/ (Does God Really Love Me?) Vineyard Resourses 2016.

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Fluffy clouds, Warm sunshine. The children are napping or possibly in school. Maybe there are no children at home. Maybe you are at an age when as an empty nester, the house seems quieter and your time is more your own.  A slight breeze is wafting through an open window.  Your favorite beverage is sitting next to you on an uncluttered stand. The gentle aroma of a sweet cinnamon candle is slowly burning.   Your computer is open or the blank sheet is laying bare, ready for the next fantastic creative notion to flow and ————

Enjoy the day outdoorsimg_3295

          WHAT HAPPENED?


That’s right. You look at your page or screen with a blank stare on your face. Picture one of these:

  • A scrunched nose with eyes staring into the sky looking for inspiration.
  • Pursed lips with eyes roaming back and forth as if searching the room for a clue.
  • The pen tapping on the empty page for a secret code you are trying to understand.
  • A cocked head leaning on a raised hand gazing past the windows, hoping a word will pop into your head getting the creation on a role.

Ah the life of a writer!

Why do we put ourselves through this type of endeavor over and over?  Isn’t there an activity, a pastime to keep us occupied which would be less agonizing, frustrating?


 As a writer, there is something inside which says we are to at least try to put pen to paper, tap words on the screen. It is our duty. An inner calling. We must express.

Does agony rise up when all is prepared and there is absolutely nothing inside to flow.  An emotional trauma has sideswiped the words right out of you. Can there be other unknown reasons  your regular word stream has met a dam?

You have crashed and burned with nothing coming out.

Can you still celebrate when you can’t write?

This is the time to be part of a writer’s small group. I belong to two. One is a small group at our church called the :

  Duluth Vineyard Writers’ Studio

I also belong to an online writer’s group :  hope writers¹


There is a difference between only reading about a situation and being surrounded by people with a similar vision wanting to help me succeed.  The main goal in the two group I belong to is to create and help each other use the gifts God has put inside us.

Even though both groups have a different approach,  if there are  problems and the words for creating will not come, the doors to the inner barrier are gently met,  with support and encouragement and if wanted, prayer.

Can you celebrate in who you are even when no words come to the surface?

No words are coming!  I claim to be a writer!  If I cannot write, who am I?

As a Type 4 in the Enneagram, I am given to a wide range of emotions.   Can I celebrate who I am as a Child of God when words are not coming to the surface?  Type 4’s have a  Primary fear of being unnoticed.2  If the words do not flow, or the outcome does not reach an expected bar,  can I still celebrate in who I am?  If I have nothing to write, what will I have to post?  If I don’t post, how will I get read? If I don’t get read, I will be unnoticed. A vicious cycle.

To add to the emotional battle there can be SHAME. As a Christian writer, there seems to be this idea stating :

I have to have it all together.  I am the author people are reading and looking to for guidance.

If there are no words, there must be something wrong with me. I am not doing what I am suppose to, but who can I tell?  😦

Writing is truly a community effort.  If these little lies, (yes, the previous statements are lies) make so much noise yelling at how bad a writer I am, I also hear the words ” you are a  bad person”.  I am surrounded by friends who know me  I  have been really honest in my fear. I  am secure enough to share my dreams. They in turn are authentic with  support and guidance and prayer in my time of uncertainty.  It is the care I need keep me going in a healthy manner.

These are the words I hear and  can celebrate:

You are  a Child of God- He made you  a Creator.

              You are a Child of God- He made up a Writer.

                             You are a Child of God.

                                     Can you celebrate in you when you cannot write?

Be free to create.

Reading and researching gives helpful tools on this journey. Realizing experienced authors go through the same pain and frustration you are going through. It can help you feel less isolated in your battle.  (here is a list of my personal favorite right now: Emily Freeman, Luci Shaw, Ann Voskamp, Madeliene L’Engle and Anne Lamott).

Do not make your writing a Lone Ranger affair. There are many personal ways of support to help you celebrate in you when you can’t find the words.

This blog is meant as one of those places. I would like you to feel this is  a place for you to share thoughts, dreams and hopes for your creating.  I do not have all the answer, but I can encourage you to follow your dreams as I am following mine.












2    Marylin Vancil, Self to Lose Self to Find  ( A Biblical Approach to the 9 Enneagram Types),  (Enumclaw, WA: Redemption Press, 2016), 104.