Worship, Create, Dream

Be free to Worship God. Create with abandonement because He is the Creator. Let's discover our Dreams together.

Leave a comment

I am Awesome Because

I was thinking about another post but this kept running through my mind.  This was a question asked on  the Hope*Writer’s page.  The response was interesting. It took a long time before the first few answers were posted on the comment line. Do you find it easier to come up with the reasons you are not awesome,  why something is always  wrong? Yes, we are sinners and we have all fallen short of the glory of God. ( Romans 3:23). Read the next verse
and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. NIV
God put wonderful gifts inside each of us,  which are now being set free  to worship and give Him the honor He deserves. We are being released to love others with those creative gifts without the bondage of comparison and perfectionism. He is revealing ways to create through all the arts that will set the world on it’s ear.
What would be the next good step for you to take to enter into this marvelous adventure? This may be  more than a few podcasts on how to use Instagram or  Twitter.  Sink your teeth into a quote by A. W. Tozer.
“It might well be a wonderful revelation to some Christians if they were to get completely quiet for a short time, long enough, let us say, to get acquainted with their own souls, and to listen in the silence for the deep voice of the Eternal God.”1

What is God saying to you?  Do the gifts make you Awesome? Is it what you can do that makes you a real zinger?

Start out  with WHOSE you are and WHO you are. That is what makes you AWESOME.  If  you are a Son or Daughter of the King, you are awesome.  Continually dwelling on the junk to be rooted out will forever keep your eyes on you. Forever dwelling on trying to reach the next huge goal will lead to  a draining life.  Instead what does the  Creator say about you?  What does He want you to share?

The words on our page need to reflect His Faithfulness in our times of faithlessness.  Give life stories which are  filled with Joy and Hope to a world crying out for truth.

Read this encouragement.  Spend time with God. How does He see you?  Allow God to reveal the deep dreams just waiting to be released.


More times than not when you look in the mirror, that is probably not the first thing that comes to your mind. More like, “I can’t do things, I am not worthy, I will never be able to paint like so and so. yada, yada, yada. We either get prideful or we feel less than. Can you allow your heart to go to a place that says …”I am a Son or Daughter of the King. He has poured parts of His creativity into me to give Him Worship and share His love with others.” If you are serious about this it will cause you to be humble and ecstatic. Take this sentence and finish it with the gifts God has poured into you to flow.
Please share your thoughts.

1 Tozer, A. W. (2007-02-28). The Set of the Sail (Kindle Locations 155-157). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.

Be free to share your thoughts either here in the comments or start a discussion on my Facebook page.  Creativity can be lonely  and the enemy wants to isolate us.  We are here to encourage to be what God created us to be.


Hope and Freedom to Share



Loneliness encircling its victim like a snake, squeezing tighter and tighter, til breathing becomes difficult. Air fights  just to move in and out.

This describes what my poor husband put up with from me before April 7-8.  I don’t  suffer from anxiety or panic attacks. This was a battle inside screaming at simple and difficult tasks:  “Why can’t I do this?”

I labelled not my worth as a writer to be no good.  My walk with Jesus, I saw to be sub-par, under the table, less than.

What Happened?

How does one in love with Jesus become depressed? How does one who knows the facts of His marvelous love become trapped in a downhill slide to yucky muck?

 I became consumed!

I became consumed with the trappings  of trying accomplish a certain goal. Every waking moment  was spent on  how to answer, unanswerable problems. My mind constantly went there instead of to my intimate walk with Jesus.

I  read my bible, a good assignment to check off.  The problem was, the words got stuck as in a pipe. Going in, but not going all the way through to my heart.

What was Jesus saying About ME personally?  What was He  trying to say To Me personally?


I became  empty. A shell. I began hoping a flowing  connection would happen by getting it right  in “doing  the shoulds”.

The snake kept choking tighter and tighter.

God is so gracious and faithful. Even though I was not trusting in His love for me, God did not make me feel “less than” when I could not hear Him. Instead, He kept wooing  me. God knew the gifts He put inside me. He knew the junk I needed to release to Him.IMG_0914IMG_3981

glory of the Lord

Another quote from Margaret Fenberg (FLOURISH)1

Cast your cares on him, share your deepest fears and you’ll soon discover:

The crux of uncertainty is the very place God wants to meet you.

Finally I heard God  say, “Sandi I have your back. Release your burdens to me. I have called you to be YOU. Come and dance in My Kingdom”

God showed me the   fear tearing  into my heart,  my worship, my creativity, ME came from COMPARING. I lost my joy as I saw  work, service, and actions of others as the goal I must achieve to be accepted by others. By God.

Engaging in the Kingdom (#eitk 2017) was a women’s  conference held at our church.  (April 7-8),  Jan Strout,  shared an exciting picture.  God was mixing an unique blend of wine for EACH one of us. Some red, some white and some a blend.

Jesus is enough.

 Jesus is pouring this unique wine into His daughters. It cannot be copied. It will be poured in and it will flow out it’s own special, crazy, individual, radical way.

I cannot share when I compare.

How often do you allow the enemy to use the big ‘C’ to absolutely corrupt God’s special outpouring into you, through you?  It comes  through obvious or subtle forms. Words  causing you to feel you are not living up to certain spiritual standards. Ministries  or creative gifting that are flying where yours seem to flop around as a fish dry land.

1-3 God is a safe place to hide,

   ready to help when we need him.

                            Ps 46   MSG

Jesus shed His blood  to destroy those death beating blows against us. He is Hope and Freedom.

The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”  

                                      John 16:32-33 MSG

Renew your mind in the truth of Jesus Love in you, for You.

What are  the wonderful gifts God is flooding His world in and through you? Don’t be shy. Writing, Photography, Hospitality, Friendship? Maybe you don’t consider what you even have is anything special.  I am interested.  We can explore together.

Take God’s hand and walk in  Hope and Freedom with Him to be the explosive wonderful expressive person He created you to be.









1Margaret Feinberg,  FLOURISH  Live Loved, Live Fearless, Live Free.  ©2016 , p33

For more discussions, come join my Facebook page.



IMG_0627IMG_0629IMG_063248-49 “If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last. But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a dumb carpenter who built a house but skipped the foundation. When the swollen river came crashing in, it collapsed like a house of cards. It was a total loss.”

                                                                                                    Luke 6 MSG
The  wind and rain attack without end . The tempest roars. Will I survive the buffet against my inner walls?

This mental and soul filled  storm  is the reality  of nothing less than an inner hurricane.  Chaotic thoughts, being tossed to and fro, wondering whether peace will ever be a day to day experience again.   Does this sound  familiar?  It can happen anytime.  An  attack  can come when you put yourself on the line in a risky situation. You open yourself us to a new situation and with the fervor deep  inside the answer comes out in a  dynamic “YES”.

You take the steps trusting the task ahead will be fulfilled in the way you envision when suddenly, something happens.  The bottom falls out. The sweet dreams you felt would become tangible are now crumbling before your eyes. The solid victory you could plainly see as a way to glorify God has turned sour in the storm. The wind, crashing waves make you  wonder “Did I make the correct decision?”.  Feelings of utter hopelessness and failure cause tears to flow.

The apostles made a decision and said YES to follow a a very Special Man. This Man had the words of Life giving them the hope and confidence He was the Messiah mentioned in the Old  Scriptures. He was the One to bring the salvation and freedom. Now their hopes were dashed as they saw Him hanging on a  cross.  The words given to them of hope, peace, everlasting joy were now turning  into streams of blood  flowing down a wracked  body. Their Friend was dying.

Suddenly the words come, “ It Is Finished” !

The world shakes. The temple curtain is ripped from top to bottom and :


How does one  handle the quiet?





Jesus follower’s were crushed under the weight of this pain. They did not know three days would be the end of their Silence. They longed for a touch and release. They were empty. Was there a  small thread they held on to?

Resurrection Sunday came. The Hallelujah  He has risen broke the silence. The true freedom their hearts longed for had been released.

With the strength and peace of the Holy Spirit, we walk  in days full  victory and freedom. As creatives, we can hear God’s heartbeat to express what He is saying in a very unique way.  We are able to receive His heart to join in the dance.

A creative is very sensitive. We receive and want to flow as a  gift from His heart.

A storm rises. A choice is made which may put my feet on the water.  I begin to sink.

Questions flare about:

  • Inadequacy.
  • Comparison with other creativity.
  • Who reads my posts?
  • Am I wasting my time doing this creative stuff?
  • Creativity is for everyone else but not for me.

Despair, fear and emotional challenges becomes so great I cry out :

“What do you want me to do? GIVE UP? I will if that is what You want.”


The choices in the times of emptiness and loneliness will determine the future of my walk.  God never leaves.  He may be silent. The Joy of His presence may not be obvious. He allows me to cry.  Does that mean I am to quit Worshiping through Creativity? His promises are always true even when the dreams and paths turn out differently than anticipated.

God is Faithful.Crown of thorns three


As creatives who worship,  the enemy will try to use our gifts to shake our foundation. As we write,  when we create story through photography and art, it is all a reflection of our heart to worship our Creator.  The enemy will use the storm to attack our foundation.  The enemy will also use silence and times of the unknown and darkness to rattle our foundation.

 Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
Galatians 5:1 MSG

In the storm and the silence, the foundation built on the intimacy and love of Jesus will weather your life in truth.

You are not alone!









Feel free to share your struggles in this walk of creativity and worship. All of life is creative worship.


The Alabaster Jar


A warm evening with a gentle breeze blowing bits of sand.  The streets are  empty. Lit candles glow  through  open windows show families enjoying their meals.   Laughter carries up and down the vacant cobblestones. Simon the Pharisee  is very delighted. Tonight he is hosting Jesus, the PROPHET whom  everyone is talking about. Almost giddily he thinks,  “Maybe I can find something out about this Man  that makes Him so special.”

Is the Pharisee, really showing an act of hospitality or are there ulterior motives?


Another part of town, a colder, darker part of town  contains less laughter. The meals are not filled with gaiety. Joy does not filter through these streets. The normal sound  is chaos from, wailing, unattended babies and  coughing,  sick children. If laughter is heard, it is anything but joyful.


The Woman’s small living quarters are in this part of town. While she lived with her mother, her house was decent. Her mother made a decent living. Now the Woman is alone. She makes her living in a sad fashion non decent manner.  Her heart is empty.


The Woman heard rumors. ” Could this be the Prophet.The Teacher everyone is talking about.?” she pondered. Gazing at the beautiful alabaster jar, her mind swirls..

  • “ I have no right to even think about going to that house.
  •   I caught a quick glance of Him in the market. His gentle eyes gave me hope.
  •  There will be other men in that house  who will know me possible who have known me. (she shutters).
  •   He looked into the eyes of that sick girl with such love and tenderness. With one touch a soft word,  He healed her.


Of course He healed her. She is holy. I AM NOT!

Could she deny the deep yearning and passion  drawing her to go to the house.and give?


The Woman looked again at the jar containing the costly oils for her livelihood. The jar was priceless. It belonged to her mother.

The Woman could not dwell on the matter any longer. Fear would consume her thoughts  making the decision for her if she did not move.

Quickly she wrapped a simple  shawl around her head and face  Grabbing the alabaster jar, she left her home. She could not be  bothered as she moved  to the other side of town. The fear of failure and  rejection ran rampant through her body. Beads of sweat from the brisk walk and the heat did not stop her body from shaking. She had no idea what to expect once she reached her destination.

The Woman did not consider how food would be purchased or bills paid after the oil was gone. It was not a consequence to consider now.

As unrealistic as it seemed, the intense draw to give everything to this Man was the only reality that mattered. The Woman would break her beloved jar, if she must.  She would pour out her oil, her love, her all.


Everyone was enjoying the well prepared meal. Food was perfect for the special guest.  Jesus was a perfect guest. Too perfect for Simon’s  taste. Nothing was happening. The evening was coming to a close with not even a tiny miracle or odd word.


The conversations continued. Without notice, as though covered by a shadowy protection, the Woman was on her knees in front of Jesus. Upon noticing the crumpled figured at His feet, the other men, close to Jesus gasped and moved away. They knew who she was. They knew her reputation.  Simon sneered to himself , “He can’t be as good as they say He is.  He should know what kind of a woman she is.”

Jesus looked sternly toward  Simon and said,  “Silence”.

Simon blinked being caught off guard.


Jesus eyes returned to the Woman. Softly and gently His gaze took in her actions, he took in her heart.  Her tears ran down her face. She could not stop crying. Raising to her feet, she broke the seal of the jar and stood over Jesus head. She tipped the jar.   The thick contents poured slowly  onto the head  beneath her.  With eyes  closed and head slightly lifted, Jesus received the entire offering, down His head, His beard, His shoulders. . This fragrant perfume flowed to his feet. The pungent aroma filled the dining area and beyond.

Moments went by. Not a sound.

No words passed between Jesus and the Woman. He looked into her eyes, into her soul as if to say.:  “Your sins are forgiven. Go and sin no more.”


The Woman unbound her hair to dry  tears and oil from Jesus.  Such deep love she had never known. It protected her from the judgemental statements against her actions.


” Wasteful!  If you really wanted to repent, the oil should have been sold to meet the needs of the poor,”  came  the verbal accusation on her pure act of love .  The Woman was not enslaved  by these attacks.  His love without rejection freed her.


Simon got what he wanted.  A card to use against this Prophet. He smiled to himself, “Either this Man  does not know the sinners, which means He isn’t a real prophet, or He does not keep the law by allowing a woman of this sort to touch Him. This Jesus cannot be the Messiah.”


The Woman rebound her hair as the men resumed their meal.  She gathered her shawl. With one last glance to Jesus, she turned and left the house without the alabaster jar.


As she walked down the street, the Woman’s  steps were light, relaxed, peaceful.  She had  no need to protect her face. Everything was  bright.  She looked to the sky. “Do stars always twinkle so beautifully?” She smiled.  Her breathing was deep and full. The Woman felt Joy. The Woman was Free..

glory of the Lord


In this Lenten season, dare to go deep and experience the intimacy of real people referred to in the Passion stories. My story is a fictional  adaptation of Matthew 26:6-10 Mark 14:3-9,  and Luke 7:37-39. God is releasing people from fears through honest deep, intimate interaction with Him. Take His hand and walk through whatever it is He wants to show you.


Delight in The Lord


Psalm 37:4

4 Delight yourself in the Lord,

   and he will give you the desires of your heart.


Why would I experience


                                                                         if I am receiving the desires of my heart?

That sounds absurd. Or does it?

As I was reading the devotional A STORY OF GOD AND ALL OF US  REFLECTIONS,  I came across this statement. It  seemed rather comical.:

“If a Mercedes Benz is the desire of your heart, your heart probably needs a change..”1

Seriously, though, when was the last time you asked the question:

“What is the desire of my heart?”

God saw the true desire of my heart when I looked to Him and said YES  44 years ago. With tear filled eyes and a heart filled with more love than I had ever known, I took His Hand.

The desire of my heart was to love Him and allow Him to love me.




When I opened my hands, my life, my heart to God and said YES  that also declared,” I trust  you. I trust You to know the desires of my heart deeper than I know them.”


.      What was the true desires of my heart?

For me, freedom was vocal worship and music.  I could not see deep reality or intimacy in connecting with God  any way  other than participating on worship teams.  It was not for the sake of being up front. It was connecting in the beauty of worship. It was a gift to God and others.

Suddenly  a radical change took place many years ago. I was no longer  asked or needed to participate on the vocal worship teams.  Devastation hit. My heart’s desire came crashing down around me. How could I show my  extravagant, intimate love if not through music?

He is the Creator.  I am not.

God is my  creator. He put my parts together. He  knows me (Psalm 139). If God knows me that well, He also knows the needed steps to reach the core .   I thought music was  the reflection of my heart’s desire to intimately worship God and reflect that love forever. It was holy. It was good.

 What is my heart’s desire?


God gave me a heart of worship not satisfied with anything less than ultimate intimacy and true freedom.   God deserves the best.

God asked : “Will you Worship Me the way I call you to Worship Me?”

My response is: “That is the desire of my heart!”

I have been answering this question in ways  I never would have imagined. It has not stopped either. My heart’s desire is to  worship  with God calling the shots. The deeper He calls me into intimacy with Him, I am free to share what I receive.

Have you lost a job? Been asked to step down from calling you felt was from God? Felt as though something has been taken away and you just do not know why?  You may feel :

  •  Pain
  •  Fear
  • Rejection toward your writing, your gift
  • Should I even try again?
  • Has God pulled the rug from under your feet. .

These questions and more are not doubting your delight in God. It is being honest. You need to run to the only One who will free you in finding your true heart’s desire. Do not run from  community either.  Run to the people in the community you can trust. Delighting in God is going to Him.  Be honest with Him in your pain and doubts so He can free you to discover the true desires of your heart.
Discovering your heart’s desire, is not a one time activity. It is a wonderful exciting journey through your entire life. God created you. He will go to those places where only He can free you. There may be fear along the ride in the uncertainties, but you are never alone.










Psalm 121 MSG

1-2 I look up to the mountains;

does my strength come from mountains?

No, my strength comes from God,

who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

3-4He won’t let you stumble,

your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.

Not on your life! Israel’s

Guardian will never doze or sleep

1A STORY OF GOD AND ALL OF US  REFLECTIONS.  by Roma Downey and Mark Burnett ©2013 day 32

Thank you Anna for allowing me to use your photo overlooking the mountains. Taken by her friend Nicholas.



God fiercely loves us through our flaws and imperfections—not in spite of them.1

                                                                                                         Margaret Feinberg


As you know, God is walking me through a journey in redefining the word Fear.

Redefining might not be the correct word. Possibly the adventure (if I can call it that) is how  do I am respond to fear? How to walk  when approached/ surrounded in an attack?

If I were to look in a mirror while in a fear-filled state, who would I see? Who do you see? A strong Spirit-filled Christian who knows her joy? or someone questioning her  worth? Do I  start judging myself  as “less than?”IMG_0378

Is it safe to cry out in the pain? I am not always honest with this emotion. You get be a certain age and are duped to believe you are suppose to have it all together. How will people look at me in my  angst?  How will I be treated if they really knew  of this silly fear? Would I receive words of true encouragement or just biblical rhetoric?


Even as Christians, do we honestly allow ourselves to open this door to our hearts? The fear to recognize and admit we have fear. The exposure of shame or pride may  become greater than the original fear itself.


Victory through each fear happens in honesty. Admitting where you are. Fear is by no means greater than God’s love,  but something is present. The need for help is real.

                I need you God, Help me in this. Take my hand. I know the facts of “Your grace is sufficient”. I need to experience the reality of that sufficiency.  I need to see Your Face.

The following is a simple story where God walked with me. I saw fear and called myself incompetent. God saw me and gave me His Love.:

As I received  instructions for a straightforward job, I nodded my head expressing I understood the task expected of me. It was a simple task, but not one I had done for awhile. Suddenly my mind went into the question/attack mode. I was struck with thoughts flying out of nowhere saying:


I was never in any real danger. The whole inner conversation may  sound silly but fear has no rules. It just attacks. Big jobs, little jobs. Lots of experience, No experience.  No matter who you are, what you are doing, what is happening to you.  Fear attacks your weak points.

I know God loves me.  I am a Daughter of the King,  but lies/fear yell so loud, it is hard to remember and walk in that reality.  I needed to run into God’s arms for His reality in my weakness. This brings the victory.

Before I actually needed to perform the activity, I sat with my journal and laid my inside angst to God.  The following words poured out.:

      “Fear takes a shape of lies. Lies which yell INCOMPETENT. Reality? My brain has cross wires not completely understanding what is asked.”

    This was God’s response to me:  “ ‘Sandi I am with you. Be At Peace’.”

I could not pretend everything was fine. I went to God in my fear. I asked Him to clear my brain.The Creator of the Universe came to me in my time of need.  He stated “You are loved”.  My fear left. I completed the task in peace.

How I respond to the fear will allow God to work deeper in my worship of Him. Pride or shame can keep a top layer of fear covering the truth where God wants to take me. When I am honest with Him, or in a safe community, the lies of fear will not keep strangling me.    God’s perfect love surrounded me and cast out the fear as I laid down the lies inside calling me incompetent. I was honest about what was going on inside. That chain was broken. I could breathe.IMG_0905IMG_1837

God has something He wants to release in you. Allow Him to Love you in the way only He can love you.  As you are walking in His love, dealing with the big and little fears all around, worship will flow.









1FLOURISH Live Loved. Live Fearless. Live Free ©2016 Margaret Feinberg p.20

Leave a comment



I am a writer. I discovered words touch the inner part of my soul. Because words from all areas communicate to me, I want to touch and communicate through words as well.

This exploration to inner and outer lands started when I was very young. I was the type of child who had a book in front of her nose most of the time. Because I had rheumatic fever at age 13, a good portion of my youth was limited to sedentary activities. Lucky for all I enjoyed reading books.

This post is not a total break from my series on fear. Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. You may be afraid to start a book because it looks too long. You may be afraid to break out of your comfort zone of genres ? Are you afraid you do not really have enough time to read.. (Kids, housework, a job, your own writing…   life)



To better your ability to communicate, the more you read, the more tools in you will have in your toolbox.

  • How did previous authors write ?
  •  Study current  or past techniques explored to express and better communicate your own creativity.
  • Reading biographies help recognize you are not alone in  experiencing the pain you feel. What emotional /spiritual choices were made to handle stress or discouragement?  Is it something you want to emulate or not?


As a mother needs to take time to relax and play with her child with no agenda, it is good  for a creative writer, to read something for relaxation. Business in all forms can get crazy, but to relax with a gentle fiction can allow your brain to go to another place and rest.

No agenda. God throws the seeds of wildflowers on the side of the road. The beauty of the purple lupine, wild daisy and Indian paintbrush have no specific value, other than to bring joy to the eyes of the drivers.   It is amazing how your heart can grow with the words you take in. It is also  fun to color books with nothing to benefit from what is created  other than watching colors bloom on a page.


In January  from blog to blog, book titles started coming in all shapes and colors. It does not matter what creative bent you are from, they all expressed,  “README!”  Bookstores are  continuously lined with all the newly published works.

The following are a few points which might help  reach your goal  to actually finish those wonderful writings.

▪Don’t start a new read when going to bed. At least don’t use this time for intense reading. Wait until you can fully take in the author’s words. Not when you are fighting to keep your eyes open.

▪ .If your phone is a problem, turn it off while you are reading. Give the book your attention.

▪ On your days off, schedule some time to read. This is a gift you can give yourself. Relax, Learn, See a Deeper You. Expand. Bless yourself.


▪ If a book doesn’t grab you,  don’t feel you need to keep reading it. Give it at least maybe 50 pages for a good try.  After that, it might be time to go onto the next one calling your name. Don’t feel bad. Hand the book to a friend  or donate it to  a share library.

▪ Choosing  a bigger book or a classic? This may be take more work to get into.  If you are finally tackling  The Lord of the Rings  (after seeing  the movie?)   here is a great  time to go to a coffee shop, order your favorite latte and settle in for awhile. Don’t try quick start and stop reads to see the book is worth your time. This one will take more than 50 pages.



  • Try keeping a list of your books. After finishing the book, write down  your opinion? Would you loan it to a friend? Did it have a positive or negative effect on you? No effect at all?


  • Audio books are ways to enjoy that literary classic or other gems  while doing  activities. Even though it is not actually reading, it allows you to finish many books you thought you did not have time for.   Jpeg
  • Hopefully this last point brings a challenge.  Check books not in your normal genre. Diversity in  authors, cultures and genre might take you out of your comfort zone.    Chose a book of Shakespearean poems. Possibly the books you always go to are nonfiction. An historical fiction could take you on a wonderful adventure you would never before considered. expand-your-library If fiction is the route you normally enjoy, picking a nonfiction or two could open a door to areas you never knew existed. It could bring a dynamic change to your life.

God will speak to you through books.  Are you willing to go past a fear in your reading?  Will you allow God to take you to places He wants to speak to  you? Go on an adventure.











Ideas were taken from this article written by Connie Ogle: