What is the Affect it has on Your life?

Day Fifteen

Have you ever seen the movie Mom’s Night Out ? The lead female character has a desire to create through blogging. In fact she may even tell you she feels “called”. And the chaos of her family is calling her to do everything but create.

It is a cute, hectic story where the woman finally sits down and is mentored by the most unlikely person. He tells her to breathe and be herself.  I will let you take in the story to see what affect this interaction had on her life.

Enjoy the gifts He has given to you!

“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, Your High God, above politics, and everything.”

Psaalms 46:10 MSG

During the chaos when I question whether I have anything of worth to share or even if I am DOING the right thing, I am gently surrounded by the gentle words of my Loving Papa.  

 – Yes, share what I have given to you. No more and No less.

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¹¹ You did it: You turned my deepest pains into joyful dancing;
    You stripped off my dark clothing
    and covered me with joyful light.
¹² You have restored my honor. My heart is ready to explode, erupt in new songs!
    It’s impossible to keep quiet!
    Eternal One, my God, my Life-Giver, I will thank You forever

Psalm 30:11-12 Voice

After reading the triumphant victory in this verse, what holds any of us back from going full speed ahead in BEING the MASTERPIECE God created? Well, as I look back at the movie, a couple things jump out at me where daily routine sadly speaks louder than scripture.

Do you identify with any of these?

Perceived chaos in the home can make huge demands on one’s mind where that is what you see more than God’s delight in you. (You even find yourself looking for dark covering so no one could find you. Will this bring you peace? )

 Does a full time job with its cares make you weary? Life has dulled down to coming home, “PLOPing” in the chair, zoning out after supper with the TV til you head for bed? There is no energy or Joyful light to even consider creating.    

 Is there a creative idea churning inside, but you are hesitant to express it because of past labels you have received? i.e—

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 You aren’t as good as…  You can’t make money at that… Just stay doing what you are doing, it is safe… This isn’t a real job, spend your time on something that will do some good,  Or there is the fear that if you open your heart to this, people will get the idea you are only trying to draw attention to yourself. ☹

Go to God for His words of encouragement.

Whose response do you rely on to be your creative light?

The Eternal is full of grace and naturally just;
    our God is compassionate and merciful.
⁶ And the Eternal watches over the naive.
    Whenever I was knocked down, He reached down and saved me.
⁷ O my soul! Return and relax. Come to your true rest,
    for the Eternal has showered you with His favor.

Psalm 116 Voice

Listen to the deep, words God has shared with you in the quiet alone times. When God created you in your mother’s womb, He put together the sweet artistic sense of connecting you with Him in a unique way as He did no other. Not even if you were a twin would you connect with your Heavenly Father as your identical sibling would.

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Each flower has it’s own beautiful story. Delight in the beauty each flows gently in the gift God has given it to share.

Jesus shared His Story with unqualified people as far as the world was concerned. Un-educated, laborers, the outcasts, even WOMEN.  Jesus asked them to BE and share the LOVE they received. Their worldly tool kits were small. They said “YES”.

Take in the “story” to see what affect their trust in God and saying yes had on their lives.

You and I are each unqualified vessels. God has given you and me a unique voice. Are you willing to slow down, breathe, relax and receive?  What is the story God  is daily sharing WITH YOU? Are you willing to trust Him and say “YES” with your small tool kit?

I will let you take this in to your story.  What affect does it have on your life?

  

HE NEVER QUITS!

Day Fourteen

 

Thank God! He deserves your thanks. His love never quits. Thank the God of all gods, His love never quits. Thank the Lord of all lords. His love never quits. …

Psalm 136 :1-3 MSG

Take a second, (or two, depending on where you are sitting and reading this post) Look into the mirror. Who and what do you see?

Today who is the person absorbing the TRUTH of today’s verse?

 No shame involved, just honesty. The best honest deepest most beautiful art, the best reflection of peace where we can breathe will only come as we allow ourselves to be truly honest on a day to day level in our relationship with God.

Spending time with God is not only an experience set aside for a weekend service or prayer before meals. Those are the set up “easy times”. No thought required. The rest of the week takes a bit more work.

Is God part of your Artsy, creative time? On the weekdays when you are living life, do you ask God, “Do You REALLY WANT to spend time with me?” You might remember some pretty icky stuff that started happening on Monday morning. Why would God want to step into that mud?

Here is a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde mirror experience for me.

I started college, the fall right after I accepted Jesus into my heart. I was so excited. This young girl was going to live a life very radical with joy and devotion to Jesus. Because my love for Jesus was huge, I figured everyone else had the same mind set. (Christian College) I hit a brick wall. Not everyone was a nice person. I made dumb choices. Have you been in those situations where you go to bed promising the next day was going to be better? — Vows under your breath so no one hears you. NO MORE DUMB CHOICES. ☹

My heart wanted to go one way and my actions took me another. It is so great that sweet Jesus knows how hard it is trying to keep on the straight and narrow path. On the night He was going to be arrested, Jesus wanted to give His followers some “holy encouragement” to remember because He was aware what was coming. It wasn’t because Jesus felt His friends were all wimps at heart and could not be trusted. In fact, it was because He knew how much they truly cared for Him and the next few days would be tough He shared these words.

There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.

Matt. 26:41

This may seem harsh, but I can identify with this statement.

I did not like the face in the mirror.

I was not liking the face in the mirror. God’s love did not quit on me though. Finally I quit being lazy inside. The pain in my heart was so huge and I felt so empty. God gently took my hand,”OK- Now you are finally ready to listen and receive.”

Let’s turn to Dr Jekyll’s side. I have graduated. I have moved. I am married. I belong to a really good church. I put on a “everything is great ☺”. The woman looking in the mirror has a different story to tell. She is not going to be the “Ms. Hyde” though. She is REALLY GOOD. Don’t cause problems. That person is accepted. Be the listening ear.

I felt my life was meeting everyone else’s need but did anyone actually know me? Service is good Christian love, but my heart was sometimes very sad. I kept silent for a long time. I would not even dare to look inside or acknowledge there was a seed of a dream in me

I did not like the face in the mirror. Who was she?

Please don’t get the idea my life was horribly dark all the time. I grew to love worship in a deep way through the Holy Spirit. I grew to recognize the reality of an intense relationship between ” My Heavenly Papa” and me. This was also when God’s wonderful love showed me the Dr. Jekyll life was a false label I was not called to live under either.

The similarity between Dr Jekyll and Ms.Hyde, was that my worth came from doing. Was I true to myself or only responding to the needs of others? I felt accepted, I felt important. I would not dare to even think about the “no” word. Insecurity choked me.

How did things change with both Ms. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll?

BY BEING HONEST!

In being honest, God started clearing out my false self and false securities. In the empty space, there was room for the freedom to discover the gifts He always had in store for me.

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A winding path, initially uncharted and frightening, is laid out before me.

There are little imps still trying to destroy this journey of creative expression and worship but that is a battle for another post. In this victory, THE CREATOR states I am not alone:

Spending time with THE CREATOR, is freeing me from the shoulds, with no shame attached.

Friends, does this mean I can do anything I want and never do something for another person? NO! That would not be loving and living like Jesus. What it does mean is my heart is free to serve out of the flow I receive from Jesus. It is a freer list handwritten by Jesus. Emily P. Freeman would call it living out my ‘ poema’ https://emilypfreeman.com/a-million-little-ways/

Writing and Photography: This is a dream Dr. Jekyll would have never dared to allow her heart to look into. And yet as the false labels left, space opened up to see places God wanted to take me.

Is the creative path you are on similar to mine? God brings our art, our worship through the the past we have experienced. Our past is not a hindrance. It is the road from which we RECEIVE, REFLECT AND then RESPOND.

The freedom is found in spending time in Him first and then flowing out in your creativity.

God’s Love Never Quits. God does not call you to DO.  He asks you to BE. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

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Through a transformation program called Faithwalking and recognizing I am a Type 4 in the Enneagram. ¹ I am SLOWLY discovering how to show up as the person God Created and am being freed through Jesus.

¹ To read more about the Enneagram you can go to THE ROAD BACK TO YOU by Ian Cron https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28268515-the-road-back-to-you

I Have a New Life.

Day Twelve

 ⁵ He came to save us. It’s not that we earned it by doing good works or righteous deeds; He came because He is merciful. He brought us out of our old ways of living to a new beginning through the washing of regeneration; and He made us completely new through the Holy Spirit, ⁶ who was poured out in abundance through Jesus the Anointed, our Savior.

Titus 3:5-6 Voice

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Receive your new life.
Reflect upon your new life.
Respond to what you Received.

RECEIVE

REFLECT

RESPOND

 Where do you go when the “insecurity imps” start their little tap dance on your creative juices? Do you begin to wonder- “am I really cut out for this?” 

Or, are you one of those types who are so confident in who you are, what you are doing, no matter what the outside conditions? You march forward against all odds. I am not criticizing if this is your bent. I say Bless you!

I am not one of those creatures. I do claim I am a NEW CREATION in Christ and I am honest to state I face a “fear” battle on a regular basis. This is not fun. I love writing, love creating, love the combination of photography with words. I really can’t see expressing in another fashion right now. This is my explosive release of God’s Heart and Joy that He shares with me. Can I say no to this? ——

At times it is an intense emotional battle just to keep going. I need to make the decision to continue putting one creative step in front of the other. The inner fear is real. The battle is real.

Is the battle wrong? Does it mean I am wrong to continue? Is this God’s voice saying I am in the wrong activity because I have emotional challenges? Would a person who is battling cancer be considered doing something wrong? I think not. How are these two situations the same you ask? The person with cancer did not ask for this sickness. She does have a choice how to deal with the emotional challenges that will attack her as she is walking this path. It is not easy but she can turn to God to give her the strength to see life through His Lens.

I recognize I have a strong emotional reaction to situations. I personally did not ask for the strong negative emotional battle. Am I wrong because I am experiencing these emotions while I am creating? My choice is see what is happening on this path and ask God to give to give me strength to see the situation through His Lens.

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Naming the triggers or recognizing when the anxiety is starting to attack is something I am VERY SLOWLY becoming more aware of. Slowing Down and Breathing, may make the difference between a peaceful acceptance of recognizing who I am as a Daughter of the King or wanting to throw in the towel. I need to deeply take this in, not only hear it on the surface and just agree with the words.

Example :

I was prepared. My written piece was ready for the workshop.  This was not the first time I had something of mine critiqued. I felt confident in what I was sharing and was willing to receive any comments (positive or negative) on how it could be improved.  The presentation went well. The interaction was good.

It was on the way home where my triggers kicked in:

 Negative emotions – shame, comparison, doubt flooded my heart. The workshop itself was a positive experience, but in the car , I was either tossing around in my mind only negative comments or analyzing the comments through a negative filter. My brain turned off and my Type 4’s Type 2, high strung, “needing to please everyone” emotions took over. ( Taken from Enneagram information ¹). I got home and was miserable.☹

I wanted hide under a blanket. I declared this post to be a nonredeemable piece and I am not a writer.  (Of course no one in the group really said that.)

 Fear and insecurity cocked it’s head, waved it’s finger and claimed I had no rights to say I am creative.

If I were to stay there under that blanket, who wins?

¹⁰ For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago.
Eph. 2 (Voice)
Don’t Quit

Certainly not God. Certainly not the One who created me to be His Masterpiece.

Whether it is celebrating while doing laundry or rejoicing in His promises as I color or write, I am made to go forward in worship and creating.

Creating, worship, freedom comes in many forms and sizes. Listen to God’s Heart.

A journal is a fantastic place to be honest when the real battle is happening. Express your prayers in words. Write down what God shares with you.

When you spend time with the Father, and express His heart, but the response does not come out as you had hoped, you need to recognize what is going on inside. There may be pain. There is a battle going on. God has given you a gift to share. God has given you His heart.

Be free with all the paints and colors to be messy.

Allow yourself to stand beneath the warm water of His love.  The gentle flow of the water will wash the sticky ickies off your body.  

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Romans 8:26 MSG

Enjoy the gifts He has given to you. Be free to share His Heart. Be honest as you walk this path of worship and creativity.