Worship, Create, Dream

Be free to Worship God. Create with abandonement because He is the Creator. Let's discover our Dreams together.


2 Comments

The Alabaster Jar

Jpeg

A warm evening with a gentle breeze blowing bits of sand.  The streets are  empty. Lit candles glow  through  open windows show families enjoying their meals.   Laughter carries up and down the vacant cobblestones. Simon the Pharisee  is very delighted. Tonight he is hosting Jesus, the PROPHET whom  everyone is talking about. Almost giddily he thinks,  “Maybe I can find something out about this Man  that makes Him so special.”

Is the Pharisee, really showing an act of hospitality or are there ulterior motives?

 

Another part of town, a colder, darker part of town  contains less laughter. The meals are not filled with gaiety. Joy does not filter through these streets. The normal sound  is chaos from, wailing, unattended babies and  coughing,  sick children. If laughter is heard, it is anything but joyful.

 

The Woman’s small living quarters are in this part of town. While she lived with her mother, her house was decent. Her mother made a decent living. Now the Woman is alone. She makes her living in a sad fashion non decent manner.  Her heart is empty.

 

The Woman heard rumors. ” Could this be the Prophet.The Teacher everyone is talking about.?” she pondered. Gazing at the beautiful alabaster jar, her mind swirls..

  • “ I have no right to even think about going to that house.
  •   I caught a quick glance of Him in the market. His gentle eyes gave me hope.
  •  There will be other men in that house  who will know me possible who have known me. (she shutters).
  •   He looked into the eyes of that sick girl with such love and tenderness. With one touch a soft word,  He healed her.

 

Of course He healed her. She is holy. I AM NOT!

Could she deny the deep yearning and passion  drawing her to go to the house.and give?

 

The Woman looked again at the jar containing the costly oils for her livelihood. The jar was priceless. It belonged to her mother.

The Woman could not dwell on the matter any longer. Fear would consume her thoughts  making the decision for her if she did not move.

Quickly she wrapped a simple  shawl around her head and face  Grabbing the alabaster jar, she left her home. She could not be  bothered as she moved  to the other side of town. The fear of failure and  rejection ran rampant through her body. Beads of sweat from the brisk walk and the heat did not stop her body from shaking. She had no idea what to expect once she reached her destination.

The Woman did not consider how food would be purchased or bills paid after the oil was gone. It was not a consequence to consider now.

As unrealistic as it seemed, the intense draw to give everything to this Man was the only reality that mattered. The Woman would break her beloved jar, if she must.  She would pour out her oil, her love, her all.

 

Everyone was enjoying the well prepared meal. Food was perfect for the special guest.  Jesus was a perfect guest. Too perfect for Simon’s  taste. Nothing was happening. The evening was coming to a close with not even a tiny miracle or odd word.

 

The conversations continued. Without notice, as though covered by a shadowy protection, the Woman was on her knees in front of Jesus. Upon noticing the crumpled figured at His feet, the other men, close to Jesus gasped and moved away. They knew who she was. They knew her reputation.  Simon sneered to himself , “He can’t be as good as they say He is.  He should know what kind of a woman she is.”

Jesus looked sternly toward  Simon and said,  “Silence”.

Simon blinked being caught off guard.

 

Jesus eyes returned to the Woman. Softly and gently His gaze took in her actions, he took in her heart.  Her tears ran down her face. She could not stop crying. Raising to her feet, she broke the seal of the jar and stood over Jesus head. She tipped the jar.   The thick contents poured slowly  onto the head  beneath her.  With eyes  closed and head slightly lifted, Jesus received the entire offering, down His head, His beard, His shoulders. . This fragrant perfume flowed to his feet. The pungent aroma filled the dining area and beyond.

Moments went by. Not a sound.

No words passed between Jesus and the Woman. He looked into her eyes, into her soul as if to say.:  “Your sins are forgiven. Go and sin no more.”

 

The Woman unbound her hair to dry  tears and oil from Jesus.  Such deep love she had never known. It protected her from the judgemental statements against her actions.

 

” Wasteful!  If you really wanted to repent, the oil should have been sold to meet the needs of the poor,”  came  the verbal accusation on her pure act of love .  The Woman was not enslaved  by these attacks.  His love without rejection freed her.

 

Simon got what he wanted.  A card to use against this Prophet. He smiled to himself, “Either this Man  does not know the sinners, which means He isn’t a real prophet, or He does not keep the law by allowing a woman of this sort to touch Him. This Jesus cannot be the Messiah.”

 

The Woman rebound her hair as the men resumed their meal.  She gathered her shawl. With one last glance to Jesus, she turned and left the house without the alabaster jar.

 

As she walked down the street, the Woman’s  steps were light, relaxed, peaceful.  She had  no need to protect her face. Everything was  bright.  She looked to the sky. “Do stars always twinkle so beautifully?” She smiled.  Her breathing was deep and full. The Woman felt Joy. The Woman was Free..

glory of the Lord

——————————————————————————————————–

In this Lenten season, dare to go deep and experience the intimacy of real people referred to in the Passion stories. My story is a fictional  adaptation of Matthew 26:6-10 Mark 14:3-9,  and Luke 7:37-39. God is releasing people from fears through honest deep, intimate interaction with Him. Take His hand and walk through whatever it is He wants to show you.


1 Comment

Comparison Stumps Obediance

Comparison is an ugly trap when fed. It can strangle the life from a wonderful blessing. It doesn’t matter whether the comparison is done by you or by others. It creates a death hold on beauty.

In the previous blogs, Leah sees her ugliness. A comparison between her and the beautiful sister Rachel lead Labon to deceive Jacob. Leah deals with pain.

Does comparison stump you from delighting  in life?
Continue reading


Leave a comment

Release From Fear

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. The weather brought sudden changes.   Beautiful colorful  leaf filled autumn branches  to barren empty trees and pre- winter brown.  Cold , brisk , sometimes even dark, without the tingle of dancing snowflakes.

Beautiful Tree.

Jpeg

IMG_0864

IMG_2932[1]

IMG_2933[1]

Dark Branches

 

 

I am experiencing a completely opposite inner transformation. To get this  picture , go to  a few of my previous blog posts.    Fear ran rampant everywhere inside my being. I kept asking permission to  “be”. Be what? Be a writer, be a photographer, be a fun person,  to be a communicator who is free in expressing God’s Heart. Be Me.

The  life filled colorful leaves on this tree had  fallen.  The tree  began to shrivel and withdraw  into a square box hidden from everyone. Even me.


.

              I am caught in a box

 

Correct time to open the box. Correct time to open the door.

IMG_2958[1]

 

FEAR

Fear controlled  my brain.  I feared  I could  not retain technical information. This eliminated the  pursuit of taking  classes on writing and photography.  Fear of rejection limited  what or how I might share something. Fear stopped me from  pursuing deeper expressions of creativity.  Layers upon Layers were placed on this original MASTERPIECE of me.  I received them. Instead of taking the blessings God  offered to enhance the Masterpiece, I took junk. I still served my King.   It was filtering through  many layers before coming to the surface.

My heart seemed to be slowly shriveling. I cried out:  Help

I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Joshua 1 4-6)     

God promised to take care of Joshua during his time of fear and desperation.  God gave this same promise to me. God knew the deepest desire of my heart. He would not leave this Masterpiece in the box.

FORSAKE

1.to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert:

 2.to give up or renounce

IMG_2966[1]The original prayer need  expressed that special night was for  people who had come to a crossroads in their lives and wanted help. After I prayed for a few people God told  me “this word is for you”.

God saw the Tiny Box my heart was trapped in. It was time.

Satan used lies from the past many years constructing  the  mirror I kept holding.  He used abuse to color my value. He used  deceit and twisted information concerning my worth or how I could serve God.

 

PRAYER

Freedom started in prayer. God  literally exposed lies I had taken on. Lies I accepted and lived under.  EXPOSING LIES!!!!!  That was the beginning.  Fear laced many past decisions, (good, bad, acceptance, rejection, etc).

That night I was released from deep seeded fears directing portions of  my life. In Jesus I said “NO MORE”!

Hard jubilant long laughter was the response in this freedom.   The Masterpiece desiring to express all that was within with no holds came out of her box. I could breathe. It was a day and night experience.

This step had to take place before the next two. God’s timing is perfect.

Step two  and step three will be explored in following blogs.

Please take time to focus  on  your soul. Are you totally released to express the Masterpiece God created you to be in  Jesus? No boundaries?

I am outside of the box looking at choices and who is in control in a different light.

Fear is not the controller of my heart or how I see myself. I can take issues such as:

1.-will you like my post, 2.  will I accidentally post a blurry photograph, 3.can I really express my worship this way, 4. the angst before going to the dentist, 5. driving at night, 6.  comparing my writing, 7. will you understand me, 7. my life,

very realistically to the one Who loves me, Who frees me, Who sees me, Who lovingly directs me. I can grab the words given to friends long ago and to us now.

FEAR NOT FOR I AM WITH YOU. (Is. 41:10 NIV)

 

IMG_2908[1]

(footnote: I would like to share my extreme appreciation to the birthplace in writing about MASTERPIECE. One is the book THE ARTISAN SOUL, by  Erwin McManus. I highly recommend it. It speaks deeper than your outer creative  expression. It speaks to the creativity of your very being.  The other is a warm thanks to Tammy Morton. A bold woman, willing to share her story during a CREATIVITY IN THE KINGDOM conference held at our church.  It was through her testimony, God opened my eyes to the gray layers I was giving permission to cover His Masterpiece of Me.  )


Leave a comment

GOING INTO DARKNESS INTO LIGHT

Going into Darkness into Light

It was suggested by one of the Creative Arts leaders in our church to have members write stories how God has  brought them from Darkness into Light during the Lenten Season.  This is an extended portion of what I shared.

I walked into darkness seriously questioning if I was walking any longer. I did not start in darkness. My words of encouragement are: Even when you don’t feel it, even if you do not go anywhere in the darkness hold on!
My early and middle time of meditation through this Lenten season was not a joyous period. In fact, I seriously questioned if I was in God’s hand at all.  I could not write which was emotionally painful. Creatives all around me were exploding in many areas. I was in the dark.  The meditations and  scriptures I kept reading on a daily basis were as flat as pancakes. I kept taking in with nothing grabbing me, to speaking to my soul. Nothing  sticking inside long enough to carry me through the whole day.  With nothing sticking, I  had nothing to give out. I felt very irritable and angry. I kept asking God “Why Why was this happening to me,? Was this going to end?”

In the midst of this emotional drama I was struck with a virus that lasted for a couple of weeks. It was painful.  I did not see a glimmer of light even though I continued to faithfully pursue God through the Lenten Meditations.
I looked out my window. I saw leafless branches crisscrossing in front of the sky. The blue was visible.IMG_1757

Normally I like trees. This time the trees were taunting me reflecting the example of the something just standing in the way of clarity. That is exactly how my brain felt.
The time of revelation, the time to walk into light was not happening. Was this form of worship my creative writing being taken from me? I was empty.

In a time of emptiness, when all the walls around me are closing in, the hopeless statements are around all the time.   I went day by day with no gift to give, still searching to God for the release.
I remember sitting on the couch one day, looking out the same long window as before while in the middle of all the confusion and pain. I was met in my loneliness. I was completely empty and that is when God came.

God asked me to take a step into a deeper walk with my Him when the top layer of life does not seem smooth.  Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls; PS 42:7. The waterfalls are loud, no other sound can be heard,IMG_0480

IMG_0481 but as I cry out, God hears me and His response is, ”Will you choose to walk with me Sandi when I ask you too ?”
God takes the hand reaching out to Him, taking on a journey beyond your control if you are willing to trust. In opening myself to God, He shared a portion of His heart with me.
On the Thursday night  before He was dragged out of the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus made a phenomenal decision.    He said to His Father, “Not my will but yours”.
For a very long time, I thought this meant “Yes” to the pain and suffering, false accusations, etc. It meant this and more. Jesus agreed to accept the terms of the contract made long ago and abide by it.
This contract decreed Jesus  not only experience the pain as the pure, unblemished sacrificial lamb on the cross in our place.    It was the pain to the separation we need not experience. Jesus walked into the darkness. Father could not look on His Son for the first time because the Son was taking on all of eternities filth, crime, horror, and sin. This was by choice. Jesus love for us. God’s Love for us.

This was the first time in  Eternity  Father/Son who had never known a break in their Love their intimate connection would experience a separation.  They were willing  to experience a darkness as nothing imaginable  because they did not want us to know eternity without the opportunity to know TRUE ETERNAL LOVE.
Jesus,  did not flinch, did not hold a grudge, did not hold anger toward us as He was receiving each and every hate filled accusation of being a blasphemer. Each blow, spit or nail pounded into his flesh was not returned with an outcry of resentment. Jesus looked at His accusers from the past, the present and into the future which includes you and me with love, forgiveness and hope because this is where the restitution of eternal intimacy between God and His children began. Finally no more barriers on God’s End.
For a brief moment in time the closest intimate relationship was severed. This was by choice. This was by love. This was because the love for me was deeper. The break was intense. The break was severe. The break caused purification so I would not be separated from my Heavenly Father who truly loves me. The break abolished any lasting ties that Satan had over me.
This is the freedom bought for me. I don’t always walk in it. I don’t always hear it. That does discount it being a fact and truth.. This love is far greater than anyone can ever imagine.
God opened to me in my thread of emptiness the truth of my freedom to worship God with no barriers now and forever.
The Father/Son hand is always extended to me. They know my heart’s desire is to take me deeper into their love no matter the cost. I am glad they take me at my word. They do not leave me. Rather they are persistently willing to take off layers so I can see.
I received a dark to light gift. It is not for me alone. Take into your hearts the love the Father and Son have for you. They were willing to allow a break of their intense Holy Love because of their love for me- for you.

Receive the Restoration in the Resurrection. Jesus did not stay in the Tomb. Receive the light. Jesus has risen. IMG_1666