Worship, Create, Dream

Be free to Worship God. Create with abandonement because He is the Creator. Let's discover our Dreams together.


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Walking Through the Door

At the end of July, I turn sixty-one!!!!.

For me that is a scary proposal. Walking through doors that have never been opened  before. Yes  at times, it causes  a bit of anxiety. ( Senior citizen labels come upon me as I can now qualify for certain discounts. My last child graduated from high school.  No turning back from this stage.) I have gone from working and  unmarried to married and working to married and being a stay at home mom. This final stage has lasted the last 18 years.  As I mentioned before, that job filled my life with ride-sharing to school, making lunches, co-coordinating school schedules for two students.  Helping memorize speeches for contests, going to basketball games etc.  Still being a part of my daughter’s life as she went to college here in Duluth and watching her graduate.  Now my son has graduated from high school and my daughter is in Sicily.

I am looking at my present story through a fog or mist asking a question: What do you want me to do now Lord?

I have days where the air is clear and mind has free direction. My days are basically empty of the aforementioned requirements so therefore I can fly to new heights of adventures.

Suddenly, I crash to the reality of barriers and questions that surround me. The free time can look as much as a fearful space to fill in a positive manner or an abundant gift and blessing .

IMG_2417IMG_2478Creativity and Worship
I am seeking the expression of “me”. I have been  surrounded in raising children for such a long time that this sudden freedom at my age, is internally and mentally challenging.  Ladies I know I am not the only one who experiences  searching a deeper expression of themselves and God in their walk.
I will go back to the previous question. What is causing the barrier for me?
FEAR~~~~~ Fear to step out and take risks. Fear to give myself permission to do what it takes to express and experience the depth, breadth and width of what it takes to walk through this door.
There are possibly some reasonable cautions that stop me at the door. My mind is not as quick. I am not driving as much as I use to so transportation is a challenge to overcome. Exciting adventures to others  have small but physical challenges to me. Not so much fun anymore.
When I was younger, looking the fool was not so terrible. I would laugh. Now it is hard for me to try new things in the fear of  failure.  Having grace for myself has somehow slipped away.
If I have trouble having grace for myself, will others have grace for me, or will I see disgust or worse —pity?  I am not that old.
My daughter Anna is receiving and giving a great life lesson. She is in Sicily working with an organization called OneHope /Cultivate.

Preconceptions she had concerning her ministry are getting revamped. Anna was willing to take a risk. From her risk taking and willingness to learn, others are receiving abundant gifts of love.  (https://acker197.wordpress.com/2015/07/01/weeks-three-four-muffins-details-conversations)
Am I willing to take the risks open to me now?
Fear rears its head to point out what I cannot do. Fear comes out to say I do not have the ability, money, mental capacity needed to explore the  creative ventures I want to pursue. It is beyond me. Give up.
After I am quiet,  and  tears are shed,  I listen to the still small voice in my head that calls to the deeper desire in my heart to express what is inside. I look to what can be done.

 Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

The days I walk in the mist are filled with tears. God does not leave me. His hand is always taking mine. At times we stand still and He just holds me because I do not know where to move.  That is OK. I smile at the patience He has with me.
The encouragement that I want to leave today is:  do not stop dreaming- take your medium. Release from the depths, the freedom of His life you have been given. Take classes and study to get better knowledge of your creative tools. Do not allow your fear to define you.  Do not allow the outside to put barriers on you. (age, fear, negativity, time, preconceptions ). Seek what God wants to say as He draws it out. Worship!!!
Join me in this process of exploration and discovery (writing, creating, photography, worship, being).

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If you are at this stage of discovery, feel free to share a comment on how you have learned to walk through the door. If you can identify in any way,  express a piece of encouragement or post a question.   🙂
IMG_2420Bless Him. Keep Creating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Be Released

I went to a fantastic mind expanding “all I can say is WOW” worship conference. The title was: “Creativity in the Kingdom” . This conference challenged attendees to their very core as to the limitations being put on them to not freely express their creativity. Various interesting workshops from WORSHIP THROUGH THE LENS”  to INSPIRED INTERIOR DESIGN”  opened doors to people to walk through if they dared to take the chance and face fears.

As a result of the conference, I have a question to propose to you.
Is there a picture inside so wonderful you just cannot stand having it stay where it is sitting? Do you capture the tree in a certain motion through your eyes when you look outside or when going on a walk?

This was supposed to  be a picture with trees...

trees with lake

Are you ready to explode with the ecstasy you experience inside? There is something that says I WANT TO CAPTURE THAT, I NEED TO CAPTURE THAT! What is happening inside is not only the need to capture what you see; you need to create.
When I say capture, I do not mean capture as in put in a box. PAINT, SAVE IN A DRAWING, PHOTOGRAPH, WRITE A STORY CONCERNING WHAT YOU SEE.
Creatives take in, take in, take in. Eventually the need comes to release what has been taken in.

Creatives take in God’s beauty and see the world through a different lens. Not better, nor worse than others.  Just different.

A question proposed at the conference was : What keeps the creative from pursuing the intense drive pulling on them from creating what is seen, what is felt?  Fear, insecurity, comparing, perfectionism? Fear rears its ugly head in a variety of different forms. These forms can be quite obvious.  They can also be almost translucent as a second layer of skin that we put on; not realizing these lies are vicious and destructive.

What lies have you taken on?

1. I really have no talent because everyone else is better than I am.

2. I have no training in this area, so I am no good at it.

3. No one in my family was a writer, (or a photographer, or an artist).

4. When I get excited about my creativity, everyone thinks I am weird, so it is easier to keep quiet.

5. I am too old to start on this type of venture now. Stick to what I am use to.

6. I am too slow and do not understand the techno ideas about a computer so it can be difficult to write or take pictures.

7. I am wasting my time on such a frivolous activity.

8.  Nobody wants what I have to give.

These are a small ( just a small) portion of the LIES that creatives encounter in the fight. It is a battle. Why? Because we have been given a gift that God wants us to share. Darkness wants to cover it.
A specific lie that will impede the beauty a person has to share is comparing.  “Since mine is not as good as … why should I even create? No one needs my writing, or will benefit from my photography so why try?

In comparing, I limit the tools I am given to create.
The world does not need another C.S. Lewis. (although his writing is fantastic ) The world does not need another Michelangelo ( his art is great and the world benefits from it. The world has benefited from the beauty of Ansel Adams photography, but it does not need another.

THE WORLD NEEDS ME!!!

It is not about becoming famous. It is about sharing outwardly in some form what is coming in.
A disservice is done to God when not pursuing the writing and photography in what I alone can do.  I am doing myself a disservice if I don’t throw off the blanket of lies to express what I am taking in.
What lies have been spoken over you? What false skin have you taken as your own that God did not place over you?  Use the YOU that He has given to create. YOU AND I need to express  the wonder and depth of our Creator and His Majesty though OUR unique walk with Him.   There are specific individualistic eyes, hands, mouths, voices that each creative has been given to express. Each one of us has special tools.

THE WORLD NEEDS YOU!!!

Be Released.  dancing waters


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Dreaming is Risky

Dreaming is risky. Creating is risky.
You are finally given the permission to go beyond a dream. You can look beyond the sweet adventures (or not so sweet) that occur during your sleeping time and pursue “exciting or unusual experiences. It may also be a bold, usually risky undertaking, with an uncertain outcome.” (Cool Definition. It came from Wikipedia). The Dream is real. It is physical. It is set in your lap. What will you do?
That was a situation that occurred to me this last summer. I received a wonderful camera-second hand EOS 300D Rebel Digital. I am pursuing portions of my dreams.  I take close ups of bee wings on flowers IMG_0776
and grasshoppers on blades of grass.IMG_0622
The dream is to capture portions of God’s creation in a creative way that is poetic and has meaning.
Yea! Fun! Go play with a camera. It turned out not to be all fun and games. With a dream comes a price.
OH NO. You may say—I don’ t want to hear about a price. My life has been too hard the way it is with raising kids, or not having kids. Being married, or not being married. I can finally pursue a dream that has been dormant and now it comes with a price. Well, good-bye.
Don’t leave. This dream has been put inside of you by a Creator that will give you the strength to really obtain it.

In July 2014, my family went to Naniboujou Lodge and Restaurant in northern MN for some  “no internet/ no tv /no cellphone” time together. Laughter, skipping rocks, hikes, enjoying the beautiful North Shore, family time.

I cannot move as quickly or as smoothly as I once did. Some of this is due to wearing tri-focals.  Being mobile on uneven terrain and rocks while trying to keep up with others can be emotionally and physically challenging.  My family was walking on the breakwater out to the lighthouse at Grand Marais.  Everyone else enjoyed the surroundings far ahead of me. My son was running from rock to rock having a blast trying to see how close he could get to the water. My daughter was strolling along as if this were a normal side walk in the neighborhood. I am gingerly going step by step trying not to fall or drop my camera. The inner friction of fear inside of me is maddening. Why can’t I just have fun as everyone else is?  There really is a battle going on inside of me. I hate the fear. It is strong. The desire to go for the dream is stronger still. I hear a IMG_0422tender voice inside saying to me, “If you don’t go on, you will not catch the waves”.  Pete has come back to me gently realizing that I am having difficulty keeping up with the rest of the family. He tells me that I do not have to go out to the light house if I don’t want to.
Through tears, I told Pete the inner encouragement that I received. I told him to go on. With camera in hand, I carefully walked  and recorded the beauty.

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I made it to the light house and back.

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What are your dreams? Just as the dreams in the Old Testament, ours may be challenging in ways  we cannot imagine.  The physical expression of these dreams always included a risk.  God has put dreams into your life. Keep your eyes on Him. Let Him be the one who pulls them out. It will mean taking risks. The fullness of being everything you are meant to be is so worth it.
NIV Ps 32. 4 Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.