Worship, Create, Dream

Be free to Worship God. Create with abandonement because He is the Creator. Let's discover our Dreams together.


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WILL YOU TRUST ME?

 

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WILL YOU TRUST ME?

This a question most born again Christians want to automatically answer with a resounding:

OF COURSE!

 

A war battling inside and out may cause a tremendous tug on our body, soul  and mind making that inquiry loom to the heights of  Mt. Everest. If you cannot look anyone in the eye for fear of breaking into tears, the isolation takes the mountain and multiplies it many times the size it was before.

 

How often do we even acknowledge this internal agony bearing down inside and around us? If you have read my previous  blogs, you know comparison is a bully, trying to tear down the joy of who I am in Jesus. This ugly cloaked  beast recently uncovered itself and attacked.  The pain was ……
I recently returned from an exciting, challenging road trip with my daughter.  This post deals with the inner war that took place shortly after coming home.  I share  this experience with you for one purpose. To encourage all believers who “walk through the valley of the shadow of  death”.

How did it happen? I can’t say. I can point to words I heard. They pulled at my insides until finally I snapped. It wasn’t just the words though. I started to add “this to that”, “what I do and don’t do”, “what I can and cannot do”

I was in darkness. I saw no future. I felt pain from my past. My birthday coming in a few days simply added to the feelings “I am so useless”.

 

I can point to the main lying phrase which caused my breathing to come in small, short, stints:

“You are not good enough” !

I stayed  in our library,  using box after box of tissues, wondering why I was in such torment. At that point,  I firmly decided I would not be leaving  the house the rest of that weekend,  other than as a silent passenger in the car  Anything else was beyond my capabilities.

I questioned:  Am I going to be this way for the rest of my life?

 

In the midst of this confusion,  I sensed a soft gentle breeze.  God’s presence. Not an “I AM WITH YOU”,  overly loud voice from the scriptures.  Rather a soft whisper, “i am with you and i will never leave you.”
I experienced a respect-filled love from my God, my Papa. I felt His compassionate Presence very close to me. He could have taken my hand,  but I was too bruised to be touched. Every once in awhile, I felt a slight touch which made me aware of His love and presence. The Creator knew my needs.  He was never intrusive, never invasive.

Sunday morning brought a sliver of possibly riding in the car to church.  My husband and son were volunteering for the first service.  Still not wanting to talk to anyone, I would wait in the car til the second service.   My husband left the keys to our car and suggested if I decided I was ready to go at all, I could drive and meet them for the second one.

I did not feel as though God was expecting anything. He was not saying “You can do all things because of who you are in Me.”  Rather the gentle love extended to me was a hand knowing my needs saying:

“I think We can do this. Will you trust me?”

 

I did not feel shame or pushed. I did not feel as though it was something I “should” do. I truly felt the choice was mine. Even though that was the case:

I was not doing this by myself. I did not walk alone.

 

I (We) got behind the wheel. I (We) drove to church. I (We) walked through the doors.

 

Little by little God has taken my hand. I presently see life through a different lens.

The questions, pain and emptiness which erupted over that weekend have not been totally answered or dealt with. 😕  They are just not screaming louder than God’s love for me. Right now I can breathe.

I would like to give you the gift God gave to me. His wonderful love allowed me to walk through the weekend without expectations how I was to perform. I was ugly. I was not pleasant. I needed to be alone. God did not leave me. His touch was unique to my need.

 

We are all very unique. With that in mind, how do now I approach the attack:

   YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH?

Is that even a statement  to consider?   God gave His Son for me.  In receiving this precious gift, the relation between God and me is totally free to be everything it was meant to be. In Jesus, I am free to love, free to create, free to worship, free to live as God created me to be.

God gently takes my hand into His. We will walk the path where He leads me.

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Reach out  and take God’s hand. Where is He leading you? Will you trust Him?

What can I say

It is not always easy to walk this path, but God is not calling us to walk it alone. He is always with us even when the feelings are not there. Be honest.  If you have questions or comments, come and share them with me. We are on this path together.

Be

Free

To

Worship

As

You

Were

Created!

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Slowing Down Can Bring True Refreshment

 

Proverbs 14 b

As you slow down and give yourself to the serious pursuit of reflection, you will find it is not an absence of work. It is more of a decision as to where you want to allow your mind to go. What do you want your mind and body to engage in?  In receiving the wonders you take in,  you decide how your heart engages with the given information and how you will share it. In other words,

It is discovering  refreshing waters pouring  over  your tired soul.

 

Ponder this : If the daily spiritual consumption you ingest is similar to a drive-thru for your favorite latte on your way to work, are you really getting the best and deepest nourishment in your relationship with God?

Probably Not.😄

It tastes really good at the time. You get your needed zip to start the day.  Then as  the time goes  on, and like the caffeine energy that wears away,  with little  spiritual and substance and reflection,  it is hard to hear His tender, caring voice expressing His love.

.

 

 

In a  past daily Bible reading, the New Testament portion was Acts 25-26. I could easily  been impressed with Paul’s eloquent rhetoric in his defense to King Agrippa. I could have  closed the book and said, “WOW! God sure gave Paul just the right words to say to get him out of trouble.    Thank you God.”

Slowing down caused me to catch something else God had in store for me.

 

Kick against the GOADS.

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12 “While thus occupied, as I journeyed to Damascus with authority and commission from the chief priests, 13 at midday, O king, along the road I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, shining around me and those who journeyed with me. 14 And when we all had fallen to the ground, I heard a voice speaking to me and saying in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ 15 So I said, ‘Who are You, Lord?’ And He said, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.

 

                                                                                                  NKJV Acts 26

 

Such an odd sentence! Kick against the goads!  What does that mean?

 

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An  ox goad  is similar to a cattle prod. (an instrument used by ploughmen for guiding their oxen   . http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionaries/  )  It is a type of long stick with a pointed end.( Wipikedia)

A farmer uses the goad to push and prod the ox to make him move to a certain goal and perform the duties he is created for. The more the ox fights (kicks) against the goad, the harder the farmer needs to push it into the ox until the correct path is chosen.

IT HURTS!

Everything in Paul’s being was trained and ready for the Messiah. When the PROMISE was fulfilled  through the man Jesus, Paul could not or would not walk that direction. He kept pushing against the very path he actually wanted to be on.

As Paul realized the Man speaking to him on the Damascus road was the Promised  fulfilled,  he quit kicking.  The true wisdom, washed  over his heart  causing Paul the freedom to embrace a relationship with Jesus for who Jesus truly is.

                        That YES changed Paul’s life forever.

That YES affected all followers of Jesus forever.

 

Slowing down and reflecting on this passage took me to a deep question. I put this same  question to you.

Is there an area in your life where you are:

         Kicking against the goad?

 

Where did you say “YES” to God with your whole heart and now you think you know better for your life than He does?

Was  creativity a dynamic worship expression in your intimate relationship with God at one time and now other areas vie for your time?  Creativity and worship are not important?

Is God opening  a different direction in your life ( a new ministry, change of  job, writing a book), but it  does not seem to line up with your “normal walk”?

You can fill the blank with  your own question that has been lurking in the back of your mind________.

                                             

What is your response when you think of these specific conversations? Are you kicking against the goad? God is not angry.  He is waiting to free you as He did Paul.

 

 

As Paul  received the wise words to quit resisting the reality of Jesus and His Love, Paul was bathed in refreshing waters for a new life.

 

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Relax and sit with Me for awhile

 

Slowing down will bring true refreshment for you. What are your goads?

 

BE

 FREE

TO

WORSHIP

AS

YOUR

WERE

CREATED!

 

Feel free to share your questions and thoughts. We are all on this journey together.

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plowman photo is a free on line example of an ox goad with ox.