This is not a normal post. It is more on the reflective side. On my writing journey, I hit a wall. I had to cope with Wifi failure and then a total loss of a laptop. I had no place to express my thoughts or share stories through my camera.
I discovered something not only about my writing, but life as well. May you receive a tidbit or two to help in your walk.
I finally have a new laptop. So how am I spending my time? Staring out the bay window in my livingroom, with my fingers laying gently on the keyboard. I see green leaves flowing back and forth or cute chickadees pecking at the feeder. They aren’t looking back at me with a taunting smirk saying “ you can’t do this creative thing anymore”.
I am disheartened with a lack of brilliant creativity.
In July, power outage left our city and the surrounding areas without WiFi. Considering the laptop as my main form of communicating, I was mad . How do I flow, how do I relate what is in my heart to others.? Words are hand written on a journal page, but I have absolutely no means to share them. Photos taken must stay in the camera.
The eventual return of power to our area brought a mere week of computer engagement. One morning, my H.P. went blank. Another fifteen days without a flow to express my thoughts fluidly. Photos still had no where to go.
Those fifteen days were cruel. The following is a quote from my journal reflecting a discouraging thought.
There is something about wanting another to be blessed in, by and through my experiences. Plus the frustration of not being able to write as fast as my thoughts create is maddening.
There were benefits to these computer-less days:
- I finished Annie Dillard’s book –THE WRITING LIFE
- I am teaching a class (Creating a Worship Journal), so I had time to create a new book.
- I finished dish cloths for a project in our yarn group.
- I started Ursala Le Guin’s – STEERING the CRAFT a 21st-century guide to sailing the sea of story.
I am in the process of climbing to the top of the wall. What might God want me to learn in this adventure and share with you?
I was blessed with an understanding soul who nodded sympathetically when I shared my dilemma. She too is a blogger. She knows sharing and writing is important.
The technique you enjoy is the technique that is part of you. I have come to enjoy the computer and the free flow of typing. I enjoy seeing the words on a screen as I think of them. To hear the click clack on the keyboard is delightful. And that is OK.. That is good.
Do not feel as though you need to apologize for your technique?
Dare I say this could describe your walk with God? Do you question the flow, the worship, the walk, He has given to you just because it seems a bit different than the rest?
Annie Dillard in THE WRITING LIFE comments:
” The secret is not to write about what you love best but what you alone love at all.”
It’s a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God
I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there’s one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He’s all I’ve got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
I waited, I wrote in my journal long hand and quietly hoped for help from God. I am not sure I always waited quietly, but God is all I have to meet my deepest needs.
He is the One who has set me on this journey. He provides the inner Worship of what I alone can give back to Him.
Another quote from Annie Dillard’s book.
“One of the things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.” Annie Dillard,
God has many things for me to share. He provided a computer to express those thoughts. He also embraced me with His encouragement. Go and express. The wall I hit was not enjoyable, but as I look forward to see what God wants me to learn, climbing to the top is crazy good.
Continue to Worship and Create. God will give you His Dreams .
‾The photo of the fallen tree is not in front of my house.This is used with permission.