The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. The weather brought sudden changes. Beautiful colorful leaf filled autumn branches to barren empty trees and pre- winter brown. Cold , brisk , sometimes even dark, without the tingle of dancing snowflakes.
I am experiencing a completely opposite inner transformation. To get this picture , go to a few of my previous blog posts. Fear ran rampant everywhere inside my being. I kept asking permission to “be”. Be what? Be a writer, be a photographer, be a fun person, to be a communicator who is free in expressing God’s Heart. Be Me.
The life filled colorful leaves on this tree had fallen. The tree began to shrivel and withdraw into a square box hidden from everyone. Even me.
Correct time to open the box. Correct time to open the door.
Fear controlled my brain. I feared I could not retain technical information. This eliminated the pursuit of taking classes on writing and photography. Fear of rejection limited what or how I might share something. Fear stopped me from pursuing deeper expressions of creativity. Layers upon Layers were placed on this original MASTERPIECE of me. I received them. Instead of taking the blessings God offered to enhance the Masterpiece, I took junk. I still served my King. It was filtering through many layers before coming to the surface.
My heart seemed to be slowly shriveling. I cried out: Help
I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Joshua 1 4-6)
God promised to take care of Joshua during his time of fear and desperation. God gave this same promise to me. God knew the deepest desire of my heart. He would not leave this Masterpiece in the box.
God saw the Tiny Box my heart was trapped in. It was time.
Satan used lies from the past many years constructing the mirror I kept holding. He used abuse to color my value. He used deceit and twisted information concerning my worth or how I could serve God.
Freedom started in prayer. God literally exposed lies I had taken on. Lies I accepted and lived under. EXPOSING LIES!!!!! That was the beginning. Fear laced many past decisions, (good, bad, acceptance, rejection, etc).
That night I was released from deep seeded fears directing portions of my life. In Jesus I said “NO MORE”!
Hard jubilant long laughter was the response in this freedom. The Masterpiece desiring to express all that was within with no holds came out of her box. I could breathe. It was a day and night experience.
This step had to take place before the next two. God’s timing is perfect.
Step two and step three will be explored in following blogs.
Please take time to focus on your soul. Are you totally released to express the Masterpiece God created you to be in Jesus? No boundaries?
I am outside of the box looking at choices and who is in control in a different light.
Fear is not the controller of my heart or how I see myself. I can take issues such as:
1.-will you like my post, 2. will I accidentally post a blurry photograph, 3.can I really express my worship this way, 4. the angst before going to the dentist, 5. driving at night, 6. comparing my writing, 7. will you understand me, 7. my life,
very realistically to the one Who loves me, Who frees me, Who sees me, Who lovingly directs me. I can grab the words given to friends long ago and to us now.
FEAR NOT FOR I AM WITH YOU. (Is. 41:10 NIV)
(footnote: I would like to share my extreme appreciation to the birthplace in writing about MASTERPIECE. One is the book THE ARTISAN SOUL, by Erwin McManus. I highly recommend it. It speaks deeper than your outer creative expression. It speaks to the creativity of your very being. The other is a warm thanks to Tammy Morton. A bold woman, willing to share her story during a CREATIVITY IN THE KINGDOM conference held at our church. It was through her testimony, God opened my eyes to the gray layers I was giving permission to cover His Masterpiece of Me. )